I have been putting this post off for a while now. As we’ve gotten closer to our launch date of May 1st…uh…TOMORROW, I’ve known it was coming. It’s a critical part of authoring a weight loss blog. People want to know where you started. And I am just starting.
I keep thinking that it would be much more comfortable to get about halfway through before I document where I started. That way wouldn’t have to tell people I am 100 pounds overweight. That way I wouldn’t have to put a picture of my full body on the internet. That way I wouldn’t wonder if the “mean girls” from my childhood will see it on Facebook. Or if the guy who broke my heart would catch wind of it as well. I wouldn’t have to face my biggest fear – what others think of me.
I also wouldn’t be giving myself an opportunity to be courageous. I would lose an opportunity to inspire others to change their lives as I plan to. I would be missing out on the camaraderie and support that I know will come from this process.
As we speak, I’m chatting with one of my besties, Kylie. I told her I was freaking out about this post. Her response: “Don’t freak out. Everyone will applaud your honesty. The only person that will judge you for doing it, is you!” And there it is. There is the fear. I’m afraid of what others will think of my weight because of what I think of it.
To me my weight defines me. It gives an instant visual value to others of my worth. It gives off an inaccurate perception of who I am – lazy, sluggish, underachiever. When in reality I am a hard working and successful woman. But the reality is – no one has ever said those things to me. No one has ever outwardly judged me based on my body…except me. So, here it is in full-color.
My starting weight is – 278 pounds
My starting measurements are:
Arms (left just below arm pit) – 18″
Bust – 46.5
Hips (just below naval) – 58.5″
Waist (just above naval) – 44″
Thighs – 33.5″
There it is. My heart is pounding as I post these pictures. Literally pounding. And yet, here is my courageous truth – I am many things, a wife, a mother, a friend, a business owner, a survivor. I am NOT my body. It doesn’t define me or my worth. It is simply (and yet complexly) a vehicle to get me through this life. And that vehicle needs and deserves a bit of maintenance. That is my goal. To maintain my vehicle so that it can assist me in getting to where I want to go.
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I’m SO proud of you!!! You can do this! You are a beautiful, smart, and amazing woman! I love you! Great job!!!!
Thank you, Kylie! And thanks for the push last night to get over my fears. Love you!
Kim, I love the words you use to describe your struggles and views on weight I think everyone can relate to these feelings! You’re an inspiration!
Thanks, Calinn! It’s good to have a reminder that others have these feelings as well. And it’s really profound to me to realize it isn’t just women who have a lot of weight to lose. Thank you!
So so proud of you!! I’m 30 lbs overweight …I know it doesn’t seem like much but on my short 4’10 body its a lot of weight!! Thanks for doing this! Love you, Emily
Thanks, Emily! And thanks for your honesty about how much you have to lose. Love you!
Kim you continually amaze me!! You are a inspiration inside and out!! Can’t wait to follow your journey! I know you will knock our socks off!
Thank you, Brittany! Love your face!
— Kim
I’m so proud of you!!! You are brave and beautiful in any size container you are in. I am happy you are taking on this adventure, you will begin to see a whole new person develop, not because you will be thinner but because you will be accomplished a goal and saved lives in the process, you go girl!!!
You are truly amazing! I read this post and cried. You are not your body, thats an amazing sentiment. I am so proud of you and thrilled for you. You are brave and beautiful, never forget it!
Thank you, Kirsty!
Your comment made me teary!
Kim. I am so proud of you! You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit. I am excited to be on this journey with you. I have this song running through my head, it motivates me. It’s “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus, the lyrics are: “The struggles I’m facing, the chances I’m taking , sometimes might knock me down, but I’m not breakin’. I may not know it, but these are the moments I’m gonna remember most yeah, just gotta keep goin’. And I, I gotta be strong. Just keep pushing on.Cause there’s always gonna be another mountain, I’m always gonna want to make it move. Always gonna be an uphill battles, sometimes I’m gonna have to lose. Ain’t about how fast I get there, Ain’t about what’s waitin’ on the other side, it’s the climb. …”
Thank you, My Belle! I’m glad to be here with you as well!
Thanks for the song lyrics! Glad to know I’m no the only one who is motivated by music on my workout playlist! Love you, my dear friend!